The Family is Ordained of God

Today I will be talking about a touchy subject for everyone. I apologize in advance to anyone I may offend or hurt. These are my views and I hope that I can explain them well enough.

This week in class, we were learning about same gender attraction. This is not necessarily what I want to talk about today. I would like to move away from that subject a little and talk about marriage. There is a battle going on at the moment that has to do with same-sex marriage. Personally, I do not support same-sex marriage, as I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I used to be somewhat supportive of it, but now as I have learned about the issues that come from it, I have become opposed. In the LDS church, we are taught that our goal on earth is to get married and have children, all the while trying to follow Christ. I don’t feel like I need to dive too deep into this subject, because all of us know what the arguments are.

Just for right now, I would like you to think about the children that we are or will be raising. It is crucial to The Plan of Happiness that a child have a mother and a father. There are certain aspects of life that a mother teaches, and others that a father teaches. If you look at young boys, for example, fathers are there to help their sons figure out ways to express their anger in a positive way by wrestling with them and giving them different outlets. Many times, same gender attraction comes from missing a mother or a father in life. When children have a mother and father, they are happier and better taken care of since they have the different lessons being taught by the right people. Yes, same-gender couples can raise children, but not with the happiness and power that mothers and fathers can.

I sincerely hope that we can all come together and find a way to keep family values together.

Until we meet again,

Leah

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Keeping It Together/Mother’s Day

What keeps your family together? Are the kids at the top, carefully adjusting areas that they want to change? Or, are Mom and Dad at the head of the family, keeping kids under control while also maintaining their own relationship? More often than not, a couple gets married because they love each other, unconditionally. But, sometimes we see parents drift apart when children come along. Now, don’t get me wrong; I am not saying that children are negative in any way. In fact, children should be something that brings families together. Unfortunately, though, parents might start to drift apart when they have children.

In class, Brother Michael D. Williams, a Marriage & Family Therapist, started a role-play with three students. There was Mom and Dad, and their son, all attending a counseling session. Dad was gone at work a lot, and sometimes for long periods of time, leaving Mom to take care of their son. We recognized that Mom and Son were very close, with Dad separated quite a bit. The son would often have asthma attacks, and when those happened, Mom would go into alert mode and frantically try to help him. So, we then recognized that the son even had some power over his mom. Then the son was asked to act out what happens when he has an attack, and have Mom and Dad also do their parts in this situation. Mom started to frantically try to fix the situation, and eventually called Dad and he calmly talked her through what she needed to do. When the therapist saw the interaction between Mom and Dad, he continued to try and bring the two together in order to structure the family more around them. By the end of the session, Mom and Dad were sitting together and acted together to keep their family in shape. Then, we found out that in this true story (this actually happened!), the son started having less and less asthma attacks.

Now, what does this have to do with anything? Children will do what it takes to keep their family together. If a child sees that their parents are distant, they will try to fix that by finding certain actions that bring their parents together, much like the boy and his asthma attacks. This could be anything. Children are little scientists and they are constantly observing their parents and the world around them. So, what can we do?

As parents, we need to love our spouse. In church, sit next to your spouse. Love your children, but make sure you have a special, exclusive bond with your spouse as well. You and your spouse created a family, and you need to be in charge of that family. If you want happy children, make sure that you and your spouse show them what it is like to be happy, by being close to one another and loving each other. Be an example to your children.

I believe that children are happiest when they can see how much their parents love each other. When I am married and having children, I want my bond with my spouse to grow every single day, especially when my children come around. I am so very grateful that I can have children in my future, and I am very grateful for all of you. I am most grateful for my parents and the wonderful example they have set for me.

Especially my mom. Mom, you are the best woman in my life. You lift me up and support me and show me what real love is. I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be if I didn’t have you. I know that I was meant to be in this family. I miss you loads and loads, especially when I eat food and do laundry. I can’t wait until I see you again.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Until we meet again,

Leah

The Importance of Children

I know that I have asked myself many times how many children I want to have. I come from a family with four children, and I’m the third in the line. I absolutely LOVE having siblings, and although we fought and still fight with each other often, I have learned so much from them and they have helped me become the person I am today. I believe that children are so important in a family, and I think it is very important that children have siblings. Siblings often become each others’ best friends! I love my older sister so much, and she is definitely my best friend. Often, too, older siblings help raise their younger siblings. For example, I was almost ten when my little brother was born, and my older siblings were almost twelve and fifteen. Because of this, we played a big role in how our little man grew up. Having siblings is so important.

The question is, then, what do others think? How many kids are we told we should have? Some people may think that having a lot of children will use up all our resources, and eventually we will become extinct due to lack of food and water. This seems like a valid argument, except experts also thought this back in the 70s as well. Back then, our population was at about 3 billion people, and we were told that we could not fit any more people on the earth. But, look at how many humans live here now! An amazing 7 billion! And we’re still surviving! One of the biggest reasons our population is so large is because we’re living longer. We learned in class this week that parents need about two children in order to keep balance. The two children make up for the parents if they were to pass away. If families continually choose to have one child, the population could be reduced to a fourth of what it was originally in just a few generations. And that could also cause some major problems. All in all, I believe that children are very important in this world and we need to have them in order to keep a balance.

Now, let me get all spiritual on you. I have asked myself many times how many children I want to have. After asking myself this, I have settled on the nice number of two. Yes, I would like to have only two kids. But, as I thought about that, I wondered, “What would Heavenly Father think if I stopped at two and He wanted me to have more?” And that is the question we need to ask. How many children does Heavenly Father want me to have? Granted, I don’t think I’ll be having children any time soon, but it is still very important for me to ask. Let’s think about it together. Let’s say I have my two children, and decide to stop there. But, what if Heavenly Father had a plan for this beautiful soul to come into my family? What if I had stopped this child to come into this world in my family? Where would that baby go? I never want to put a child in a situation where they don’t belong. With that said, we need to pray and ask Heavenly Father how many children we should have. Heavenly Father knows all, and He will bless us when we follow Him.

Until we meet again,

Leah

Classmates’ Blogs

Check out these blogs to get even more insight!

Hello World!

I will be posting weekly updates of ideas and themes that we learn about in my Family Relations class. I would like to thank my professor here at BYU-Idaho for helping me start up a project I’ve been wanting to do for a long time! Hopefully the things that you read will be uplifting for you and that you may feel the spirit. I hope that we may be able to form a special bond. Thank you for bearing with me as I figure out how to make this blog work.

Until we meet again,

Leah